Is Love Mutual?

 SPOLER!

Last year, at camp, I remember that I had to tell an eleven year old girl that I didn't have a crush on her. It was probably the hardest thing that I ever did.  The problem was not her age, (although that did factor into it) but that she liked me, but I didn't feel the same way about her.  So that makes me think that love has to be both ways.  Love has to be a mutual thing where both people love each other.

Ms. Havisham and Pip

In the book Great expectations by Charles Dickens, a boy named pip leaves his home every few days because he was hired to play in front of someone named Ms. Havisham.  At Ms. Havisham's house, there is a jaw-droppingly beautiful girl named Estella, who seems only to be there to tease him.  But at almost every visit, Ms. Havisham asks Pip if he thinks she is pretty or if he loves her.  Eventually, Pip leaves Ms. Havisham's, but when he returns, Ms. Havisham says these three quotes to him: "Love her, love her, love her! If she favours you, love her. If she wounds you, love her. If she tears your heart to pieces–and as it gets older and stronger–it will tear deeper–love her, love her, love her!"...  "Hear me, Pip! I adopted her to be loved. I bred her and educated her to be loved. I developed her into what she is, that she might be loved. Love her!"...  "I'll tell you," said she, in the same hurried passionate whisper, "what real love it. It is blind devotion, unquestioning self-humiliation, utter submission, trust and belief against yourself and against the whole world, giving up your whole heart and soul to the smiter–as I did!"

In short, Ms. Havisham is saying that even is Estella breaks his heart, Pip should still love her back.  but how can he if she doesn't love him?  I imagine that It would be tremendously hard  to give up so much fore one person who does not return the favor.  Pip Would probably give up or get bored over Estella.  How much time can you do something with no result before  giving up?  If Pip were to love someone like Estella, he would have  to give up everything in order to please her.  All of this work, strain, and love would way Pip down.  He couldn't last with out something filling him back up, giving him the energy to continue loving her.  That energy Is Estella's love, which is to valuable for her to give up.  Estella has lived with a woman (Ms. Havisham) for her intire life, who hasn't seen the light of day since her love abandoned her.  From the beginning, Estella has been convinced the love is bad, Men in general are bad,  and that she should never love.  But if someone loves her and she doesn't love them back,  does that really constitute as love?

Back to my example at camp,  When that girl had a crush on me,  I didn't like her as much as she did to me.  there's no problem with liking people, But there are times when you just don't.  I truly hate to be called the Estella in this situation,  but I'm afraid that I was. and yet, we have very differing opinions. I'm okay with love, where as Estella detests it.  I tried to tell the eleven year old that I didn't like her in a way that wouldn't be so cruel,  but Estella would have snapped Pips heart in two before blinking.  But back to my original question,  Is love mutual?  I really think that it is.  If you were explaining to a little kid why people get married, you wouldn't say "because he loves her".  You would say "because they both love each other".  Love is a two way thing,  and I don't think that it's love until both people think of each other in exactly the same way. 

So in general,  people can't just say that it is love when one person likes another. I guess you can sort of make a simplified chart, if that makes it easier:

HATE

LOVE

<-----------------------------------------•----------------------------------------->

<-----------------------------------------•----------------------------------------->

In order for it to be real love,  each person should be placed on a line in accordance to how much they love (or hate) the other person.  If they line up,  it is truly love, but if they do not, the love is not real.  I suppose that this also has to be the same for hate too.  The problem with two people thinking differently about each other is that one person gives up more than the other.  That would be like trading a golden ring for a a piece of tin foil.  Pip and Estella can never truly love each other.  To answer my question, love is mutual.  Probably...